Some little girls want to be princesses or The President, and some little girls want to be starfuckers with clothing that clings to their lady parts like saran wrap.
I was the ladder.
Each year my mom would take me to the local Frederick's of Hollywood and let me pick out my outfit for Career Day. And each year on that day we would go for ice cream when I was asked to leave. Apparently paste is appropriate in elementary school, but not pasties. Fascists.
So as my Rock of Love audition tape makes its way to VH1, let me raise my champagne mug to Coco- the ho. the myth. the legend.