MAKE ME A SAMMICH

While everything else in America seems to be increasing dollar-wise, I keep coming across really really inexpensive kitchen equipment. Like ginormous pots and pans at like $10 a piece- ones that you don't even have to scrape the dried Robitussin and Sprite out of as you search for the Good Will price tag.
Is it because Americans just aren't cooking? That they are all too satisfied with getting a box-o-burger from a fast food window?
I don't have any stock in Williams-Sonoma so I guess it doesn't really matter to me, it just seems odd that these prices are so low. I ordered various ones off of Amazon for Christmas gifts (speaking of lazy...) and couldn't believe that my brother's cheap-o shirt was twice as expensive as a nice crock pot. Or stove pot. Or dutch oven. Hehehe I said Dutch Oven. Anyway, I don't know what it's called because I'm American and don't cook. You like that closing sentence? I've got recipes for so many cutesy sentences it would even make Rachel Ray vomit.

Oh.

Boy George Part II

This kid was one of the finalists on American Idol and I actually really like him. I don't know his music at all, but I'm guessing it probably sounds just like Lil Wayne with maybe a hint of N.W.A.
What I like is that he's trying to make it in the music industry, even though he could easily just be a Fergie impersonator. And that he's gay- really really really gay.
I love gay men and wish they could turn it off slightly so we could be married, and I admire the strength it takes to come out of the closet. So for him to come out to the American public and be really nonchalant about it is awesome. And then to release a CD cover that would make Pat Robertson shit himself-- DOUBLE awesome.

Tweety

"Nobody is that important. They eat, shit, and screw, just like you. Maybe not shit like you, you got those stomach problems." -- Some guy named Justin's dad

The Geriatrics Next Door

That's the name E! network would have to use if Hugh Hefner actually dated people his age.

Anyway, The Girls Next Door is so fucking stupid this season. The events are stupid, the interviews are stupid, and the new girls are really, really stupid.

Especially Dumb and Dumber-- the barely-legal twins that are Hefner's pets now.

Okay, Holly, Bridget and Kendra weren't exactly about to win the Nobel Prize or anything, but they could probably at least spell it.

This season actually makes me cringe. I keep waiting for the girls' parents to come pick them up from topless daycare, but instead they spend night after night sleeping next to a corpse.

Alright Mr. DeMille, I'm Ready For My Close Up

I've decided that I want a successful career of doing nothing, essentially. Minimal effort, maximum allowance. All the Kim Kardashian / Paris Hilton types who have achieved this all got there from showing their cooch and then complaining about it. Lets be more original. I do like the idea of being famous for your fucking blog like Perez Hilton or Bryanboy. Well, BB isn't as famous, but he gets invited to Fashion Week and gets to hang out with Marc Jacobs and such and get free shit. So lets make that work. Hmm... who says idiotic things and can be my celebrity endorser? I mean Paris is pretty stupid but I don't think she can read. We'll work on this...

The Same Thing We Do Every Night, Red Foreman

TRY TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD.

I'm watching reruns of That 70s Show at 2 in the morning because I can't sleep and coming up with very important observations such as this one:

Red Foreman looks like The Brain from Pinky and The Brain.

Cool. Glad we had this conversation.