Happy Halloween

I didn't get to celebrate Halloween this year because the state made me put a sign in my window, but I'm thinking that next year I'd like to go as a roofie. I think it would fit well in Facebook pictures next to my friends dressed as Naughty Nurses and such. It's not as creative as The Joker or Sarah Palin, but goddammit, it's just as funny! Hoo buddy, I haven't laughed this hard since OJ shot people.

New Trend Alert

I'm the Miss Cleo of trends. I can predict them years in advance. Uggs? Called it in the 2nd grade. So when I see the dwindling of the giant bug-eyed sunglasses trend, I immediately know what's about to take place. A combination of Uggs and sunglasses-- Sugglasses? Nah, too predictable. Instead the trend setters are going the opposite route of giant frames and start sporting monocles. So when you buy yours from the "People Named Chauncey" section, you think of me.

Geography Lesson

Lemur Island
is full of lemurs.
Goddamn.

Chuck Manson: Poet

One of my favorite quotes, ever, is by none other than serial killer Charles Manson!
In being asked "Who are you?" while in a snazzy orange jumpsuit, Robert Frost-like Manson replied:

"Nobody
I'm Nobody
I'm a tramp a bum a hobo
I'm a boxcar and a jug of wine
And a street racer if you get to close to me"

I don't know what it means, but I've taken to reciting it as my answer to "How are you?"s from people I went to high school with.

*You can see him recite this poetic moment himself, here.
(And I wouldn't Rick Roll you on such an occasion as this, and that's also that's kind of passe now, innit?)